Your guide to taking the effort out of your relationship with sleep and getting better quality rest.

Associate the bed with peace. If you are struggling with sleep, cut the connection between being in bed and stress. Don't work in bed. Don't doomscroll for hours. Find another place for stressful phone calls. Maybe even move the TV to the living room. If your body associates your bed with activity and stress, it will be harder for you to relax. As much as you can, keep the bed for sleep and intimacy.

Don't go to bed when you're not sleepy. Since the bed is for sleeping, it is explicitly NOT for lying there stressing about sleep. Lying in the dark checking the clock over and over, counting down the hours until you have to get up is - you guessed it - stressful! Wait until you are sleepy, even if this is after you would like to go to bed. The important thing is not strengthening the association of stress with the bed.

If you are not sleeping, get up! Since we know lying there in low grade panic only makes it harder for us to sleep, if you find yourself unable to sleep and starting to get stressed, take a break! Go to another room if you can. Read a book. Watch a comforting show. Do something relaxing or even fun until you feel sleepy, and then go back to bed.

Get up in the morning! More important than going to bed at a regular time is getting up at a regular time. If you sleep until noon on Sunday, it's going to be really hard to get to sleep with time for enough rest before work Monday morning. By keeping your wake up times to within an hour of one another you will have a better chance of falling asleep reliably at night. You will also reduce sleep variability, which can contribute to perceived exhaustion as much as lack of sleep. If you are feeling sleep deprived it might be hard to fight the temptation to sleep in, but having a regular sleep schedule will pay off in the long run.

Get moving! Lack of movement can contribute to feelings of chronic fatigue, as well as insomnia. If you rarely exercise, try spending 20 minutes walking 3 times a week, or some other low intensity exercise that works for you. Gradually build up. Exercise will ultimately give you more energy, as well help your body to be tired enough to sleep.

Get into the sun! Part of how our bodies regulate their sleep/wake cycle is through sunlight. If you're inside most of the time, try to sit or walk in the sun for 20 minutes a day in the morning. If you can't access the outdoors, buy a light box and set it where you sit in the mornings.

Want to learn more? This is just a summary of some of my most important takeaways from some research on insomnia treatment. For more information, including how to build your own sleep-based protocol, I highly recommend you read Hello Sleep: the Science and Art of Overcoming Insomnia Without Medications by Dr Jade Wu. You can also get support with sleep through downloading the following apps: Consensus sleep, CBT-I Coach. If you want support for your sleep journey from a real human being, please reach out for a consult and we can discuss how therapy can support your goals for better rest.